Empl GUitarist II

Is this the end or just the beginning of it?(eventually)

2005-12-01T01:49:00.000-08:00

Hey guys... this may be the last thing that I squeeze into this age old blog of mine.... It's about time I guess... These two yrs blogging, I have to admit was the most boring part of my day... But it was gd though... I just need to set things straight b4 I stop blogging for all that this blog is worth... Maybe I'd check in on this blog a few years from now... realise my faults... and hopefully I'd achieved most of my dreams by then... Anw, I know this blog will not be missed at all... but I just gotta do this for my own sake... for the few of u who read this stuff, I'm not really going to update anymore... The truth: Truth is... most of the stuff I write here, is wad I think at the moment... rash thoughts written onto a broken website.... Where I write stuff about broken ppl, and broken hearts... Actually, I'm not in this alone.... Eugene did this way b4 me.... haha... But no one knows his blog... so I guess his is a different story... He said to say everything I feel out like an open fool... So I guess.... wadever... I should be an open book by now... But all I need is for my life to be easier to live it up... If u could help... like someone should be less dao.. but It's ok wadever u want... Cos I'm happy wondering to myself... hopelessly awaiting the end of the road to turn back and see how much I suffered and what did it come up to...
The beginning of last year, I felt confused and in the dark.
The end of last year, I felt angry and hurt.
The beginning of this year, I felt hopeful and lucky.
The end of this year, I've become numb, but hopelessly in love...
Ya... I guess I'm trapped in all of this....
I gotta learn from the mistakes we made.
the pain I'd gone through....
Truthfully, flowers mean a new beginning...
I'm starting over with all tht I've learnt in my life so far...
So I guess should be the end of My Life Thus Far...
and the new beggining of My Future That near...
Hint hint... I might start blogging again anw...
Maybe in this blog... maybe in another...
To whoever u are reading my blog,
" The beginning of hope is the end of fate,
The beginning of death is the end of life.
and hopefully,
The end of the past is not the beginning of the past again"
Secrecy kills,
but yet it helps the it's maker stay alive...
in this whirpool that drags u in... thts life...
Whoever u are keeping secrets out there,
just continue...
one may die of it... but a plant needs it's nutrients...
and at the end both will be a part of each other...
eventually...
this is the end....
ELUCIDATE Sim Jia Le Gerald....
the dead man...

The best since forever...

2005-11-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

Heh... It's 1:38... I just realized I haven't updated... since... last month... Today was good... Went to Joan's house and ate some bbqed stuff not cooked by me... haha... We Played some baskets and Nat swam... haha... But tht was the terrible part...haha... Talking on the phone with the Christabel and the Eugene... so crap... So I gotta gow... bb

My life so far....

2005-10-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

I guess u guys would think tht I'm really busy and can't blog much... too bad ur wrong... I'm just plain lazy... okay... I try not to be.. Do u find me lazy? Naw... I just put my efforts in to other more important stuff haha... Dun listen to myself... I've got so much free time... Headache... Finch is nice... I mean I like The old Finch... haha... Even though it's old... It's new to me though... The new finch is really overated... ya... Ignore my hair though... It's just a set up to get my parents to bring me to a real hairstylist soon... haha... jking... I think it's ok I guess...

Yay... syonanto's gone!!!!! haha

2005-10-15T20:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know if anyone reads the stuff on this blog now, but I guess I'll continue writting... Chinese was actually pretty easy, except for the fact that I forgot how to write most of the words... but who cares... syonanto is over haha... Okay... I should be having a band performance in school this Thursday... We haven't even sign up for tht thing haha... anw I gtg... see u...

Down down down...

2005-09-19T08:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know what time is it, but I'm writting this cos some weirdo asked me to update... haha... I'm jk... I just did my home econ course work... So I'm really tired... yeah... Can't wait till my exams are over... Mine's coming early... like in next week. ya... I studied... But I don't think I was mugging... ya... I stopped a few times to rest and play a little guitar... I don't know why, but suddenly everyone is cutting their wrist like... for fun... Ben Ee did it... I was angry at him for a week, and he like nearly did it again today... But I managed to stop him... cos I was using his pen knife to cut something and I accidentally cut it in really deep into my middle finger. When he saw me get cut, he threw away the blade... It didn't hurt much... lol...( I pretended that it hurt a lot so he'd end all of tht... haha) Then there's this problem in my mind about smoking... I saw this totally innocent looking guy in the staff toilet, and he sort of wanted to show off that he was smoking... I guess he thought it was cool... poor guy... I think he just needs someone to care for him... And since tht guy's my friend... ya... My friend Erwin took the cigerette away from him when he saw tht guy smoking... He threw it away... ya... I respect him for helping out that fellow friend in this torturous system called life... Or is it just school? I'll know once i've grown there... As for everything else, You don't want to know... ya... pc...

Hey! The holidays are REALLY!!! REALLY!!! boring....

2005-09-06T02:28:00.000-07:00

Won't anyone get me to go out? like today... Was totally boring... heh... And dull... Joan's becoming a councellor, studying to get to Triple Science, Taking Music as a subject... Oh ya... she's becoming more mature... hmm... yea... That's nice.. haha... Oh ya... I'm gonna go out tomorrow... Jamming... With my band... haha... Now Joan is getting me to say wad track have I fallen off... But shall I tell her? heh... yea... maybe... btw... I set up a blog for my band... http://www.elucidtheband.blogspot.com/... But there's nothing in it yet... I'll tell u when there is... yea.. .peace

Am I still me or just a reflection of you?

2005-09-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

Hi... It's been like a month... sorry if u have been waiting to hear from me, but I've been too caught up in the business that I'm supposed to write here... Too bad I wasn't able to do that... I'm just tired man... I just want to let the whole world who reads this blog that I just love you guys for caring about my disgusting but beautiful life... My birthday passed like on the 5th of August... I haven't felt any older since... But I know I've gotten some... Cos I've been able to admit that I'm still a kid In this world... My band... Yeah... It officially rocks cos we got stuff all settled out... But too bad Ben Ee quit cos the band will not be complete until 1 or 2 guitarists come in... and it's such a shame to loose a friend from wad u hold so close to your heart and find he is totally against it... There's just this hurting in me... I wish none of that bad stuff had happent... But too bad it did and it's all ur fault world... Hear me Out... and stop making me miserable... hmm... The month's been okay other than that... I just realised I've needed Joan all along... I thought I could get over her... too bad I failed... Listen to me Joan... I don't know why... but I've waited for 1 and 3/4 of a year and yet I still find you are the only one I can have in my heart... even when I try to make myself like another person, I'd think of you all day and eventually it all seems worthless and I'm back where I started... with you... Am I born to be in love with one girl all my life and not move on? I want to... help me move... please? I've still got room in my heart for more of you... Get me back on track... and please answer me when I want to talk to you... cos When I dare to message you, It's only when I'm most desperate to hear from you... I control until it spills out of me to get up and run for you... Hope you've been well... Erwin ask me to write about him... ya... He's a good guy... ya... A good friend of mine... Btw, God's been real good... he made me smile for half of the day on Sat, He must've been joking away with me... hehe... Hope you're proud of me God... I love You... heh... Peace to all of you out there in this world which was once beautiful cos God made it but now it's been polluted by us the sick humans making it the sickest place I could live in... God Bless...

Wounded?

2005-08-02T07:10:00.000-07:00

Hey... I haven't done this for a long time... haven't used the com for a long time... My b'days coming this Friday... It's nice to find I'm gonna feel one whole year older in just one day... Many things still won't change though... Joan still has "heart attack"s... What's wrong with her now... she's suddenly like... crazy... nvr mind that... I wrote many songs since I've not updated and I finally found my style... I learnt how to play chords on the keyboard... It's fun to play keys... I think I wanna drop guitar and pick up keys... hehe... nah... I love the guitar too much... besides my hands have been moulded to the guitar... If I stop playing, what will my hands be able to do well? Ben went to church last Saturday... He said my church was fun... Duh... lol... 3dash1 isn't half bad... listen to them maybe you won't fall asleep in the next chinese lessons after getting enough of it... Good Charlotte's good... they have ways to keep the stupid voices out of that big head of yours... These voices give you will to boast... but why should you... I prefer to keep what I'm good at in bay... I'm going to Festival of Praise... hope to see you there... and Joan... I meant What I said when I told you I'll wait outside of your school for you... God bless you... eat as much crap as possible... no one will mind... Cos ppl dont pay attention to the little things in life...

Moving on

2005-08-02T07:01:00.000-07:00

When I think about my life
I wonder if I will survive
To live to see 25 or will I just fall?
Like all my friends, they just keep dying.
People round me, always crying.
In this place that I like to call my home.

Not everybody knows that everybody goes to a better place
Not everybody knows that everybody could be living their last days
But the hard times will come, and we'll keep moving on.
We're moving on.
Keep moving on
Life.
Hope.
Truth.
Trust.
Faith.
Pride.
Love.
Lust.
On without the things we've lost but things we've gained we'll take with us.

And all I've got are these two hands to make myself a better man
I wonder if I'll ever see the end of this
With all this rain it just keeps falling
On my head and now I'm calling
Out to someone else to help me make it through

Not everybody knows that everybody goes to a better place
Not everybody knows that everybody could be living their last days
But the hard times will come, and we'll keep moving on.
We're moving on.
Keep moving on
Life.
Hope.
Truth.
Trust.
Faith.
Pride.
Love.
Lust.
Pain.
Hate.
Lies.
Guilt.
Laugh.
Cry.
Live.
Die.

Some friends become enemies some friends become your family
Make the best with what you're givin
This ain't dying this is livin
Said were movin on and we've got nothin to prove
To anyone
Cause we'll get through
Were movin on and on and on and on and on and on and on....
Keep movin on
Life.
Hope.
Truth.
Trust.
Faith.
Pride.
Love.
Lust.
Pain.
Hate.
Lies.
Guilt.
Laugh.
Cry.
Live.
Die.

Some friends become enemies some friends become your family
Make the best with what you're givin
This ain't dying! this is livin!

The first I'd run to...

2005-05-30T20:34:00.000-07:00

Chorus
If I had the chance to say goodbye
I'd take you along with me
If I knew the words to this lyricless song
You'd be the one I'll sing it to
If you'd hide with me I'll keep you safe
Hold you tight through the night
If I knew what you had been through
You'll be the first I'd run to

Red guy

2005-05-29T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hi... I'm red... cos There was sun... and I was kayaking... and we were doing this expedition b4 it suddenly started raining haha... We paddeled for about an hour moving 100m only... haha... It seemed lik we were paddling in the same spot over and over again... It was really fun... The waves hit super hard on the kayaks... I'm feeling super dizzy... spent too long in the sea larz... haha got headache...

Ransom Letter

2005-05-23T01:33:00.000-07:00

Hmm... Vesak day... like family sports day like that... super tired... I suddenly like pug jelly and blink 182... They rock... I like ransom letter and feeling this so I didn't know What I should have put into my blog... but cos Ransom letter is something like my life and its a Singapore band's song so... ya... I bet upon a dollar ur the best girl I ever had lol... listening now...
---------------------------------My kidnaped heart----------------------------------------------

the most weekend...

2005-05-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went kayaking for the whole day... tired... then Went to church... Joan kept talking about venting her anger... dunno wads wrong cos she wont tell me... lol... today went to sunday service.... power sia... lol.... Gtg... have a good life... :/ bye

I'm "not" okay!!!

2005-05-20T03:00:00.000-07:00

Argh... I failed science... first time in my life haha... 37!!! lol... I guess I didn't understand wad neutrons protons, atomic numbers... nvm... gotta forget it haha... anyway I think I did well for practical sessions so this term should bring a passing mark into the report book... and the rest of the subjects should have gone well... Eugene's b'day is this mon!!! Dunno wad he's going to do... School nowadays like so slack... Every body like... dun care the teachers... lol... today sportsday also no one listen to the commentator... haha... no one cheered lor... slack... Now I need to focus on other things so... ya... erm gtg... ya...

This is the time of our lives...

2005-05-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

Haha... Joan's exams will be over tomorrow... but now we're celebrating... cos tomorrow she has listening... lol... I like Joan's blogskin!!!... It's so cool... or mool lol... today ncc very boring... but fun la.. can talk with frens... I couldn't do volunteer work at science centre all because of ncc.... anyway I'll do it on another day.. I can't come to church for two weeks cos of it too... it sucks...

Chronicles of Exams and Joan

2005-05-14T22:02:00.000-07:00

The exams were okay... Chinese was super hard... I didn't understand everything... Maths was super easy... The rest were okay... I guess I did well for literature... I could relate to the book we were supposed to read... so I just needed to express everything I felt on that piece of paper and " SHOW NO MERCY!!!" haha.... I'm still addicted to You!!!... haha... Too bad exams are not over for Joan yet... I'll keep u in prayer Joan.. haha... I love u... little pig haha... I gotta leave for my guit lesson liao... So I'll end here!!! haha... bye...

I just deleted my old blog!!!

2005-05-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

I just deleted my old blog!!! I have to do everything over again... ok... this sucks... worse than sucks... Help me... I need to redo this stupid blog haha...